Posts Categorized: Features

First – The Purge (2013)

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The Purge

While stuck watching re-runs of re-runs the other day, an interesting trailer appeared out of nowhere. Well, at least the first half of it was. It’s very rare I actually get excited about a big Hollywood blockbuster these days, and I was on the edge of my seat. Sure, the premise has been done before, but this one just looked good. For one day, or in this film just twelve hours, all crime is legal. Drugs, murder, robbery, sodomy, beastiality… Ok, well, maybe those last two parts won’t be in this film, but you get the idea! And then, out of nowhere, it introduces a subplot about a bleeding heart kid who lets a stranger into his home to save him. Of course he’s being chased by a group people, some wearing a female version of the Guy Fawkes mask, and they are intent on getting him, or killing the family if they don’t produce him. Where the hell did this twist come from, and who thought it would be a good idea to include it?

Opinion: The Tim Lambesis Effect

Posted by & filed under Discussion, Features.

A good number of people asked for my opinion on the Tim Lambesis arrest issue. Well, after seeing the arraignment footage, I felt it was time to voice my opinion for all to hear, whether anyone wants to or not. I just wish one Youtube user didn’t remind me Tim Lambesis was involved on Frail Words Collapse! Years of pushing that album out of my mind, ruined…

5 Minutes to KILL! – Dorito’s Crash Course 2

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Dorit's Crash Course 2

As an Xbox 360 gamer, I love when random free games hit the Xbox Live Arcade marketplace. Well, with the exception of Yaris, which was horrible, even at no cost to the consumer. But, the latest to hit is actually a sequel to another free game from not too long ago. Crash Course 2 is yet another attempt at console free-to-play gaming, and while it’s worth picking up to kill a few minutes, it’s just not right this second.

My Top Five Slayer Albums

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Apoch's Top Five Slayer Albums

The death of Jeff Hanneman was one that came out of nowhere and blindsided the Metal community. We all felt the tremors of this loss much like the sudden passing of Dimebag, an insanely influential musician that still had plenty of life left in him. The same goes for Jeff. While he didn’t go out so tragically, his work in Slayer greatly influenced an entire genre, and countless Metalheads into picking up an instrument, starting a band, or just being a source of inspiration to overcome any obstacle or achieve a dream. Yes, I am one of those individuals, which I’ll mention later on in this list. But, that being said, I greatly dislike putting lists together, but in honor of this man I’m going to break that disgust by naming my top five Slayer albums of all time. Rest in peace, Jeff. This one’s for you…

5 Minutes to KILL!: Samurai vs. Zombies Defense

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Samurai vs. Zombies Defense

One thing other than money I don’t have a lot of anymore is time, so sitting down with only five or so minutes to myself keeps me from getting any progress done on major game titles. Hell, I rented a copy of DMC from the local Redbox and only remembered I had it this evening before work! Chances are I now own it… But, in any event, there are some games I’m quite familiar with that don’t take hours on end to make any kind of progress in, and Samurai Vs. Zombie Defense is one of them. Of course, this isn’t the version on the Android Makertplace, but rather on the Windows 8 store, though I assume they are both identical with one major alternate mode exception. I looked at it as, if I have a few minutes to kill, why not add some achievement points to my gamerscore, especially when the game is free to download?

First – Eldkraft: Shaman

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Eldkraft: Shaman

It’s very rare that I nearly give up on an album out of frustration before I even have it, and Shaman by Sweden’s Eldkraft is the unfortunate victim of my rage. Since yesterday, I have been trying to not only get the promo from the digital press site established by Metal Blade Records, but then trying to transfer the files over to laptop or MP3 player so I could review it at some point soon. It took hours and countless attempts, even writing my contact inquiring if the upload might have an issue, or if I’m the only unlucky son of a bitch having this problem. Well, I finally got the songs on the player, I wrapped up a recent review, I figured I’d answer the burning question, the one I’ve been asking myself with my face buried in my hands out of frustration: Was this actually worth it? Well, let’s take a quick spin and find out!

Story Time with Uncle Apoch: The Dick in the Dairy Queen

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This isn’t so much a review of my experience, but rather a cautionary post for those who go to the Dairy Queen Grill & Chill in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. It also marks a new series for the site because I am that offended…

Dairy Queen Grill & Chill

Dana (my fiancee) and I went to the Dairy Queen in Wilkes-Barre to try the new blizzard waffle cones. This is actually maybe the third time I’ve been to some place that didn’t have the words “Mart” or “Wal” in them since my M.S. flare up prior to Christmas last year. We ordered the ones with chocolate on top. NOBODY there could find the chocolate sauce to put on them. The man I assume to be the manager asked if we’d be ok with plain. I was let down, but it was only a little rim of chocolate so accepted.

The problem? While their new blizzard waffle cone was actually a simple yet ingenius idea that I’ll gladly grab any day of the week (at another location obviously), there was an issue with the cost. You see, the plain ones were .50 less, and I ordered two, as well as a bottle of water. I went to go inquire about getting that money back, and Dana threw a fit, saying we could afford the dollar and it’s embarassing to do that, saying we’d look poor. However, I don’t like being taken advantage of, especially when it comes to the money I work hard to earn. I reminded her of the three dollar error the very last time I cashed a pay check atWal-Mart, and how I held everything up for ten minutes until the manager corrected the mistake. In this case, Dairy Queen is a major corportion with millions of dollars. I, on the other hand, am a disabled man working a reduced schedule for $10.20 an hour and unable to pay the bills while I recover. So, yes, I asked.

Personal Reactions to Dark Moor: Ars Musica

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Dark Moor: Ars Musica

It is incredibly rare that I get a promo, sit down with it, and am immediately moved to the point where I can’t just sit back and let it wait. Something must be said, and this time it’s about the impending Dark Moor album, Ars Musica. This is one of those few bands that, when they put out a new album, I drop everything, put life on hold, and to hell with everyone else just to hear it. Of course this led to a fight between my fiancee and I between her morning court telvision shows, or my love for classical composition infused Metal. As you would expect, she won, but even my expensive new piece of crap headset I had to return four times in a two hour time span could not hold back the beauty and passion of this album. Thankfully, I’ve heard it again through my proper speakers, and it’s better than I remember.

First – Aborym: Dirty

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Aborym: Dirty

Aborym is one band name that slips off the tongue of many Black Metal fans worldwide when asking about some of their favorite artists in the style, and typically a “must hear” suggestion. Considered by many as a band that manages to include a strong Industrial element well into the mix while keeping each album unique from its predecessor. Right now, their upcoming album, Dirty, has been the discussion on many internet forums and podcasts. Fans are anxious for their next outting, while some are skeptical thanks to the recently released single, “Irreversible Crisis.” Well, I’ve had the chance to sit down with it, switching back and forth with albums to review that are closer to launch date, and I wanted to contibute a little more to these conversations than just praise and pissing over that one song.